


The Best That Never Was

by Pacificwanderer (CNichole)



Series: The Stars Incline Us 'Verse [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ancient Rome, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Alternate Universe - Historical, Costume Parties & Masquerades, Dreamsharing, Emperor Hux, Erotic Dreams, Erotic dancing, F/M, First Time, Forbidden Love, Gladiator Games, Gladiators, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo saves the day and keeps her safe as she dreams, Lictor Finn, No Pregnancy, Oral Sex, Rey drinks a spiked drink that is meant to elicit strong dreams and doesn't realize it, Roman AU, Roman AU Force Bond Dreams, Roman Commander Kylo, Saturnalia, Vaginal Sex, Vestal Virgin Rey, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), blood and violence mentioned but not in detail, body scars mentioned, drugs and alcohol, exhibitionism implied, lol, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:08:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27288421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CNichole/pseuds/Pacificwanderer
Summary: “Ah, indulge me. Please,” she whispered, the words somewhere between demand and supplication.Kylo let out a soft, shuddering breath. His hands almost felt like they were trembling against her body.“Ah, Rey,” he said. “It’s impossible for me to deny you.”During Saturnalia, almost anything goes. Rey slips out onto the Roman streets, hoping to catch a glimpse of the revelry, but she gets much more than that. Saved from an uncertain fate by Commander Kylo Ren, Rey falls into his arms and into a vision of a world that never was. In this world of dreams, the King of Saturnalia wants Rey for his own, and on this dark and delicious night, he will not be denied.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: The Stars Incline Us 'Verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989718
Comments: 23
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

__

**I know there are other Roman holidays in October, but none are quite as slutty as Saturnalia and that’s what I’m looking for here. Let’s do fever dreams, visions, and virgin priestesses indulging with the indolent and infuriating Kylo Ren. Set somewhere in[The Stars Incline Us](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10556486/chapters/23318860) universe (or not, if you’d rather). I missed these two and I have a REAL hankering for some historical AU (I’ve been playing Hades when I can, and I know that’s Greek mythology, but Romans lifted from that so whatever. Also, jfc Hades is a GOOD GAME). SLUTTY SLUTTY GODS. Anyway, on to the fic! Bacchus says it’s time to drink and EAT.**

**This is complete (three chapters), so I'll update on Thursdays/Fridays, depending on how the week goes.**

* * *

It was late and the festivities from the daylight hours spilled into the night as Rey tried to avoid the muck on her way back to the temple. Though Rey was dedicated in her service to Vesta, she did, on occasion, slip out from under the watchful eye of her friend and _lictor,_ Finn, to enjoy a clandestine walk through the city.

Hidden from view by her dark cloak, which was pilfered from Finn, Rey had wanted to enjoy the sights and sounds of Saturnalia. It was not as if she meant to take part in any of the celebrations, but she had always been a curious person. Though of late, her curiosity had gotten the better of her, and Rey thought it was in no small part because of the poor influence of the dangerous and handsome Kylo Ren.

Before she had stayed his execution and saved his life, Rey was content to go through her daily routine, see the same people, perform the same rights, and… that was it. And now, her thoughts frequently strayed to the former Commander, and she hated to admit they were not as chaste as they should have been.

His teasing and heated gaze made her wonder about all matter of illicit things, which was why she had been taking great care of late to avoid him. Even though he often frequented her temple, and even though she rather enjoyed his presence. There was no way she would ever let on about that. The last thing Kylo needed was any encouragement from her.

Rey was good at getting in and out of her temple unseen, so it never occurred to her that she would have any trouble at all. She enjoyed the sounds of laughter and music, the smells from the open braziers as they cooked, and the sights of people out and celebrating Saturnalia. Not for the first time, she wished she could join them in their revelry.

_Maybe one day…_ she thought. Once the terms of her service were fulfilled, she could rejoin Roman society. Unlike other women, Vestal Virgins were accorded a special place of honor and could even purchase land once their years of service were at their end. Perhaps she could move to the country somewhere?

_Maybe then, Kylo and I will…_ but Rey stopped that thought dead in its tracks. The last thing _she_ needed was to long after that man more than she did.

Rey continued along and was almost halfway back to the temple when the sound of laughter caught her ear. Rey turned to see a rosy-cheeked couple offering wine to anyone who passed by their tavern.

“A drink for the lady?” the man called.

They had such curious faces, and Rey felt as if she could not quite focus on them. Looking at the couple was a little like looking into the reflection of a pond. Reality seemed to shift and bend around the boisterous couple. Perhaps, had she not been so distracted by her thoughts of Kylo Ren, she would have been more careful. But a drink of wine sounded perfect for her parched mouth.

Covered as she was, Rey wasn’t worried that anyone would discover her true identity. What harm could there be in a small glass of wine? Before she could even open her mouth, the man had shifted a small clay cup into her hands. It was so full that the wine sloshed over the rims and onto her hand.

Unthinkingly, Rey leaned forward and licked her hand. The taste of the fruit was sweet and pungent on her lips. Wine was used frequently in the temple, though nothing she’d had before ever tasted like this… It was almost _too_ sweet. Some strange nectar—similar to the taste of fermented fruit, but not entirely familiar. Distracted by the mess, Rey unthinkingly placed her mouth on the rim of the cup and drank deeply.

As soon as the wine hit her lips, she realized her mistake. The world seemed to shift before her eyes and the faces, which had seemed jolly and obliging, were now cruel and frightening. Vicious smiles and too-big eyes seemed to leer from every which angle. Laughter resonated in her ears as she haltingly stepped back and fled into the darkness.

The street tipped and turned, and soon she was not sure which way she needed to go to get back home, only that she needed to get somewhere safe soon because it was getting hard to keep herself upright.

_I’m such a fool. This must be a punishment from Vesta for my vice of curiosity…_ she had enough presence of mind to think as she leaned against a cool plaster wall. Maybe if she just took a few moments to rest, then she could sort out what was going on and come to her senses?

But the longer she waited, the more the world spun. Rey took a deep breath to calm herself and hoped to regain a measure of her control, but all she was aware of was the way her heart felt like it was beating in her throat and the sense that sharp teeth were snapping, waiting on the fringes for their chance to get a bite of one of Vesta’s priestesses.

But she couldn’t let that stop her. She had to find her way back to the temple soon or risk serious punishment, so Rey pushed herself off of the plaster, and crashed against what felt like _another_ wall.

_Not a wall, a man!_ she thought as she almost fell backward. A firm hand came to rest upon her shoulder, holding her as steady as an anchor in her spinning world.

“Priestess,” called an all too familiar voice.

_Kylo…_ she just could not get the word out of her mouth, but somehow, she could feel his concern.

Rey managed to lift her head and look up into the most blessedly infuriating face in the world. Even _Kylo_ was spinning. The dampness of the cool winter evening had curled his dark hair, which hung in soft spirals around his hauntingly pale face. In her mind, he was Pluto come to pluck her from this earthly coil and take her to his abode in the underworld.

His hand reached up, and he gently trailed his warm fingers against her face. Comforting. Bursting with life. Her mind was playing tricks on her, but her body knew that Kylo would never hurt her. That he would never do anything to her against her will.

“Are you… drunk? What’s wrong?” he murmured.

Instead of speaking, Rey let herself fall against his ample chest, trusting him to catch her before she dropped to the ground. He did. Somehow, she knew he would always catch her.

“I’m not… drunk… I’m _drugged_ ,” she pouted.

His arms tightened around her back for a moment as something in his expression shifted.

“Who?” he said. Such a small word, but such feeling packed in that single syllable. Rey knew, if she but uttered the word, Kylo would rain holy hell down upon the revelers who had dared to harm a priestess of Vesta.

But she did not wish to add to his burdens. Her head lolled against his chest, but she managed to shake it from side to side. His long fingers slipped behind her veil and into her hair, stroking the back of her neck softly.

“Then allow me this,” he replied softly. And before Rey realized what was happening, he’d scooped her up and into his arms.

And it was not an entirely unpleasant place to be, she was shocked to discover. With one muscular arm under her legs and the other at her back, he held her firmly against his broad body. Were anyone to see the display, it would cause such a scandal that she might not survive it. But fortunately, the night was dark, and the revelers had mostly moved indoors as their celebrations shifted from drinking wine and eating to other, more lascivious activities.

“Take me home?” she asked.

She could hear the smile in his voice as he teased, “Mine or yours?”

Somehow, she gave him enough of a look that he caught her meaning. Kylo laughed softly and his arms tightened ever so slightly around her.

“Of course, priestess. Whatever you require. I’ll keep you safe.”

Had she more energy, and had the world not been spinning so terribly, she would have asked him what he was doing in such a low part of the city. She could only imagine what activities someone such as he would get up to, and she supposed the brothels were close enough to the area that he could have been at one.

Still, he did not _smell_ like a brothel—the cloying scent that emanated from those establishments seemed to permeate every crevasse, even if one was only walking by. No, he smelled like… the electric scent of petrichor, which was fitting given what a storm he was in her life, swirling and invading her thoughts until she was drenched in his scent.

No, for all the dark reputation Kylo had, he was not rumored to frequent brothels. Not that she would think any less of him for that. It was not any of her business what he did in his private hours. Truly though, Rey did not think Kylo would have any trouble finding company for his bed. Though the Commander was feared across the empire, the power he had was attractive to many.

And Rey knew how attractive he was, as she’d heard the other priestesses whispering as he passed them by at various ceremonies. _Dangerous. Dashing. Tempting._ Though priestesses took their vow of chastity to Vesta seriously, it did not mean they were entirely immune to a handsome face. And the temptation of Kylo Ren was compounded given that he was also very tall, and positively packed with muscle, even though Roman society favored a softer look.

There was nothing soft about Kylo. Not one bit of him, she realized as she rubbed her cheek into his chest as if testing his constitution with her face. She had been quiet for some time and was openly staring at Kylo, who either did not notice or did not care. If she had better control over her limbs, Rey would not have been able to stop herself from tracing a path along his face, freckle to mole, and over the pronounced angle of his nose. And he was… _so rough,_ but gentle?

Everything about him was such a contradiction. Fearsome, but teasing. Hard, but infinitely soft with her. Beautiful, but haunting—broken even. She was a priestess, so it was in her nature to want to help, to _heal._ But could she heal a heart as broken as Kylo Ren’s? Rey had heard tales of his deeds, stories about what he’d been commanded to do by the fearsome and vanquished Advisor Snoke.

Patricide was not uncommon in the Empire, but Rey could tell that he carried the heavy weight of that crime with him, even now. If only she had met him sooner… if only he had known to wait for her.

Still, she had some hope, fragile as it was. It was said the stars inclined humanity but did not bind them. There was something strangely comforting in that. And whether by the wine or the drugs, Rey felt emboldened in a way she would never have otherwise. She might not act on her willful desires, but there were other ways to satiate her curiosity.

“Tell me… tell me a story,” she murmured against his chest. Her face rubbed into that broad, hard surface and, had she been more aware, she’d have been horrified at her wanton behavior. Had she been more aware, she would have noted the stutter in the infamous Kylo Ren’s step, or how his cheeks in his otherwise pale face were flushed with color.

“Little priestess,” he said, voice low and teasing. “Tell me what you desire.”

Words were _hard._ Very hard. What did she want? “You…” she started. “I want you…,” another stutter-step before she clarified. “Tell me about Saturnalia.”

Kylo barked out a laugh. “I don’t know if that would be appropriate for a priestess’ ears,” he hedged.

Rey huffed against his chest. “I attend the games at the Colosseum. I have the power to stay an execution—as I have used,” she grumbled, bluntly reminding him of the time she’d saved his life from certain death. “Tell me a story. I am no child.”

Kylo took a deep breath and Rey felt the expansion of his body against her cheek. She rubbed her face into it again. Gods, she did like that feeling. But that was the trouble, wasn’t it? She liked entirely too much about the former Commander. And he normally did nothing to discourage her curiosity, so it was strange that he hesitated now.

“Afraid I’ll think less of you?” she slurred. Oh, her tongue felt thick. That was new.

Kylo shrugged. “I don’t think it is possible for you to think any less of me, actually.”

“Boo!” Rey replied, and it startled Kylo enough that he stopped and stared at her.

“What’s this now, priestess?”

“You… never have been shy about teasing me. Tease me now. Tell me about Saturnalia.”

“What if I told you I’m not much interested in the revelry?”

Her hand came up slowly, feeling like it was passing through water before it hitched itself along his smooth jaw. “I would call you a _liar,_ ” she drawled.

“Ahh, you always can see right through me,” he teased before turning his head to press a soft kiss into her palm before she could pull away. “Still, I only indulge if the company is good.”

“And presently?” she asked before she could stop her willful, albeit slow, tongue.

Kylo huffed softly. “The best kind of company. A tempting little priestess who is just out of my reach, now fallen and beholden to me? In my arms, no less. It’s more than I dare to dream about.”

_Mmm, he dreams about me?_ she thought. Except she had _not_ thought it, she’d spoken the words, which earned her another low laugh from her Roman Commander and savior.

“Tell me,” she urged. “How does… how does it feel to shift from master to slave?”

Kylo chuckled softly. “First, little priestess, I have only freemen in my household. But as for the change… it is a mirage.”

“Hmm?” she drowsily muttered against his shoulder.

“Servants know their roles better than most nobles. The divide remains. And I would not indulge with someone who could not truly consent without conflict.”

“Oh, how… how _noble,_ ” she enunciated thickly as the word stuck on her tongue.

“And you’re so surprised? This much I can tell you, priestess, Saturnalia is best indulged when it is enjoyed on all sides.”

“All sides…?”

Kylo grinned, eyebrow quirking as Rey caught his meaning. _He means…. Oh, Gods. He means in groups!_

Her cheeks flushed and Rey slowly ducked her head against his chest to avoid his amused gaze.

“I tried to warn you,” he chided and had the decency to look _a little_ shameful, but only a little.

Rey huffed, though she refused to look at him and give Kylo the satisfaction of seeing her embarrassment. “I did… _not_ tell you to stop.”

Kylo cleared his throat. Oh, did he like it when she made demands of him? With that in mind, her hand slowly slipped and came to rest against his chest. Momentarily, she was distracted by the soft feel of his tunic, the remarkably vibrant blue color… but she rallied, and gathered her strength as she leaned in and brushed her nose against his exposed collarbone.

“Ah, indulge me. _Please,_ ” she whispered, the words somewhere between demand and supplication.

Kylo let out a soft, shuddering breath. His hands almost felt like they were trembling against her body.

“Ah, Rey,” he said. “It’s impossible for me to deny you.”

Was this the first time he’d ever said her name? She wasn’t certain. Though he often teased, he kept that veil of formality up between them. The way his lips had tripped over her name, a broken and beautiful sound from his mouth. No one had ever said her name like that. He ached as she ached. Longed for her, though he fought against his baser instincts.

He knew, as did she, that there was only heartache if they pursued what was so undeniable between them. And were she not drunk and drugged, perhaps she would have been able to keep her wits about her and her heart to herself.

But she felt so much, she always had. And the drugs had made it all so much worse. She could feel the depths of his desire for her, but more than physical, it felt as if he wanted to consume her entire being. Take her into himself, bit by bit, mind, body, and soul, until they were as linked as if the Gods had yoked them together especially.

He paused in his step to look at her. For long moments, neither said a word, but words were unnecessary. It was clear what he wanted. His eyes darted to her lips, to the soft curves of her chest, the way her legs peeked out from behind her long, white skirts. She might as well have been naked for how he looked at her now.

His tongue darted out from between full lips as his eyes rested on her mouth again. He wanted to kiss her. _Badly._ And she… What did she want? They were playing a dangerous game together and Rey knew full well the consequences of giving in to someone like Kylo Ren.

Almost as if he could read her thoughts, he cleared his throat and tore his eyes from her face. Staring straight ahead, he walked on and indulged her curiosity by telling her a tale about a time when the Gods saw it fit to come amongst mere mortals. And with drink and food and dance, the humans fell victim to the whim of the capricious gods, who were content to watch them revel until, sapped of strength, they lost their lives.

He told another tale of when he was young and not quite so troubled, where his crush on a beautiful servant made their role reversal during Saturnalia even more delicious. He kept talking, kept telling stories, some tempting, some spirited, some sad. Eventually, the comforting sound of his deep voice lulled her. Whether inspired by his soft words or the wicked heat within his eyes, her mind swirled with thoughts of him.

With the sonorous sound of his voice in her ear, Rey’s eyes slipped closed, and she fell into a world outside of reality. She dreamed a dream of a life beyond her own, one that was wildly decadent, and lascivious. The drugged mulled wine pulled Rey into a hazy dream until all she knew was the warm feeling of being in Kylo Ren’s arms and the wicked temptation of his words.

* * *

**Author’s Notes:**

Is it self-cest to love your own characters? LOL. GOSH I MISSED THESE TWO. I had a lot of fun with this. I hope you enjoyed. And, as I said above, if you’re into that kind of thing, [I did a story for the RFFA back in uhhhh 2017](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10556486/chapters/23318860)? That features this Roman AU. [Give it a read](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10556486/chapters/23318860) if you’re in the mood (does get a little angsty, but I promise it has a happy ending PROMISE. HAPPY ENDINGS ONLY FOR ME GDI). I did write it like 3 years ago, but I read it recently and I’m pretty proud of it, so hopefully you’ll enjoy if you read it 😊

Me to me while writing this: just say cock. Me to me: NO THIS IS HISTORICAL ROMANCE, NO COCK. ONLY EUPHIMISMS. (cock obviously won out). The cock comes later lol. The first chapter and the third are pretty free of smut. This is a smut sandwich. Don’t quote the time period. None of this is anything other than vaguely historically accurate. I like to think the ancient Romans would LIKE someone having fun with their history. OH, to be remembered.

**And on to the random Roman bits and other shit from when I was writing this and thinking too much:**

-A _lictor_ is a sort of bodyguard, of which Vestal Virgins were entitled to (as well as various other wealthy Romans).

-Rey also shares her name with the Goddess, [Rhea](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhea_\(mythology\)) *WINK*. Vesta was the goddess of hearth, home, and family and was integral to Ancient Roman society. Her fires were kept lit by the Vestal Virgins, who also took a 30-year vow of celibacy while they served the goddess. But afterwards, they were awarded a special place in society, and ended up having more freedoms than women in their class did during the same time (they were afforded a special class after their service, basically). They could get married after their vow is up, though apparently didn’t often do this (not that I blame them, why give up freedom like that?). ANYWAY. Yap Yap Yap.

-Paraphrased Latin quote! “Astra inclinant, sed non obligant” The stars incline us, they do not bind us. Not only because it’s the title of the Roman AU that inspired this lol but because I love the quote. There’s something comforting in the idea that, even if things feel destined, we can still change our course.

-It’s doubtful that any wealthy Roman would insist on freemen working for them, but Kylo was influenced by his grandfather and really abhors slavery, so that’s that 😊

* * *

**My inbox is open if you need it. If you’ve enjoyed this fic, please feel free to share with a friend,** **or leave a comment in the little box and I'll be eternally grateful. Thanks for reading!**

**Socials: You can reach me on my Twitter thing for fandom[@pacificwandere1](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) but I'm also still on Tumblr [@pacificwanderer](https://pacificwanderer.tumblr.com/). Come give me a shout in either place, though I'm trying to do more writing and less social media for 2020 :) (and I'm actually doing better at this YAY lol)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Rey sleeps in Kylo's arms, her mind travels to a place between dreams and the waking world, where the seductive King of Saturnalia makes her his decadent queen for the evening. And surely, there's no harm indulging within a dream?

During Saturnalia, the scales were balanced. Rich and poor alike, breaking bread and mingling with each other in ways that were not possible throughout the rest of the year. In her dreams, she was just Rey. Not a priestess, not beholden to a goddess or a vow, just a woman wandering the long lengths of what she knew to be her ancestral villa.

Long columns with elaborate capitals marked the entrance to the courtyard where performers softly played music. Water gently bubbled from the central fountain, around which masked visitors languidly lay on _lectus,_ limbs dangling, entangling, as they drank and ate. Soon, their chosen king would show himself, and the night’s true indulgences would be revealed.

A painted leather mask adorned her face. Delicate, golden accents had been woven into the material in the hopes of currying the favor of Saturn. Her long hair, which normally was pulled up and tied, had been left loose. Soft curls cascaded down her back and over her shoulders, while her mask had been tied with a beautiful green ribbon that likewise flowed down her back.

A special _chiton_ had been made for the occasion and was dyed a lush green color. The _chiton_ slipped over her shoulders and rounded into a deep neckline that was so low it was almost indecent. Golden clasps pinched the fabric at her shoulders, and around her middle was a woven belt that was similarly adorned with gold.

The dress highlighted what Rey thought were her best attributes, her soft arms, and her long legs, for when she walked, the gown revealed a most scandalous slit. Soft, leather sandals padded against the floor as she walked over to an unoccupied _lectus_ and seated herself. Though she thought she recognized a few people, Rey could not be certain.

It was both exciting and a little frightening how the masks hid the identities of the other guests. Still, it allowed her a measure of freedom that otherwise would not be possible. With the mask, she could have been anyone. With the mask, she could _do_ almost anything, and Rey fully intended to enjoy her Saturnalia celebration.

It was warm, despite the lateness of the year. This far south, winter was often a fleeting dream which was precisely why her family had escaped from Rome, where the cold and wet touched more frequently. Still, the hypocaust kept most of the villa warm by pumping heated water through the floors, and small braziers were placed around the room to add heat and light.

The circulating air was damp and a misty sheen had fallen over the revelers. It only added to the decadence of the atmosphere. Rey plucked a sweet soufflé that was drizzled with garum and popped it into her mouth. The sweetness of the treat contrasted with the saltiness of the sauce. Dried and fresh fruits were plentiful, and Rey indulged in more than her fair share of cakes drizzled with honey as she waited.

This year, the chosen king of Saturnalia was a mystery to her, though gossip had filtered in. He was a fearsome warrior, and some said he made a pact with Mars himself as his prowess on the battlefield was so unmatched. Rey worried that anyone who spent so much time fighting might be a brutish bore.

Though perhaps he would have interesting scars? If there was one thing she found compelling about soldiers and gladiators, it was their scars. Rey hoped she would not be disappointed. Time stretched as she and the revelers drank and ate and waited. Some had turned from teasing touches into outright displays of exhibitionism.

She supposed she didn’t mind, as her mind was too occupied with the slow-moving water from the fountain. The night took on an inky hue. Stars winked down on them and Rey found herself reaching up to trace the constellations with her fingertips, starlight blinking out as her hand passed by.

A giggle passed her lips as a bigger hand blocked out the view and she slowly turned on her _lectus_ to see who had interrupted her drunken game. She was not the only one who noticed the new addition to their party.

 _Kylo…_ As soft as a whisper his name passed through the courtyard. Even with a mask, there was no disguising this sizable warrior. Though niceties were not necessary for Saturnalia, a breathless sort of reverence fell over the group, regardless.

 _But he looks positively ravenous…_ Rey thought appreciatively. Her courage was buoyed by the wine and her eyes trailed over his body. Long legs, corded with muscle, dominated much of her view as her gaze traveled upward. His tunic was blood red and skimmed his thighs.

The skirty of his tunic was almost shockingly high, given the layers upon layers that most nobles seemed to favor, even during Saturnalia. A golden belt cinched his waist, while a mass of the fabric was gathered up and over one shoulder, exposing much of his chest to her greedy gaze. He did have _some_ scars, that was certain. And they only added to his appeal. His skin, though pale, was adorned with oil, probably olive, and had the most beautiful sheen.

Rey could not see his face, but his eyes were intent upon her and the heat within their honeyed depths felt as if it was warming her from the inside out. It almost felt as if they were alone in the courtyard, for all his attention was focused on her. His mask—dark leather, and split with a golden marking over one eye—covered much of his face.

But she could tell that he had a prominent nose, a shapely brow. And his lips… Were so full and sensual that they proved to be quite the distraction. Still, forcing herself onwards, she noted that his hair was a little longer than was strictly fashionable, and was worked into gleaming curls that just skimmed the back of his = neck.

She wanted to touch that hair, wanted to touch very nearly every part of him, in truth. After finishing her appraisal, Rey finally realized that he was similarly looking _her_ over and that the revelry had halted entirely.

With every word he spoke, his eyes never left hers. “It is time for a swim, I think. You—” he said, pointing to a nearly conjoined couple. “Into the fountain.”

Laughs bubbled up from the group as the drunken couple stumbled away from each other, hastily covering their bodies as they disentangled and slipped over towards the fountain.

The King of Saturnalia was to be indulged, his every whim catered to. But his deep and resonate voice somehow made his demands seem like careful guidance. As if he was ferreting out the deepest wants of each reveler as he led them along.

Before long, the couple’s laughter was joined by the watching group as they dipped their hands and splashed each other. The water drenched their clothing, revealing each and every bit of the couple as they slowly circled each other in the fountain.

They were exposed to all that watched, and it was evident that this had been their true desire all along. They fell on each other, lips and hands and legs akimbo as they settled along the edge of the fountain, and… seemed to forget that they were being watched. No, that was not it. They _wanted_ to be watched.

Rey’s cheeks heated as their sound and movements became more impassioned and _just_ when hands dipped beneath robes, Kylo’s deep, soft voice cut through the night. “You. Dance for me.”

Kylo had pointed to a lush man, whose tawny skin shone even in the low light. He was a decadent sort of beautiful, his body was softened with drink and food and sumptuously rounded. He was very enjoyable to look upon, and Rey watched breathlessly as the man started to dance. How Kylo had managed to pick out a dancer from the revelers was beyond her, but the man moved so beautifully to the alluring cadence of the music that Rey was spellbound.

His white mask flashed as he moved, and the loose layers of his creamy robes rippled sensuously as he danced. The pace of the music increased as he flowed, and soon it felt as if Rey was being trapped within some magic spell, that if he kept dancing much longer, he would dance forever and doom them all with his beautiful grace.

Rey’s heart crashed in time with the beat of the music, and just when she thought it might burst, a sharp _clap_ broke through. And then, silence. While Rey was distracted, Kylo settled into a throne that had been erected for his particular use. Now, he lounged, _indecently_. His legs were spread wide, and the length of his tunic was not nearly long enough to cover his impressive body.

Not that she was staring at his legs, by any means. Of course, her eyes were naturally drawn to the thick muscles of his thighs. Surely, on Saturnalia of all celebrations, she could be forgiven for this small indiscretion? Her lashes fluttered as they dipped, trailing higher and higher along those long legs until… _until…!_

He caught her staring, and she looked away, only to realize that he was not upset at her curiosity, but meant to indulge it. Shifting so that he was facing her alone, Kylo leaned back in his throne, while at the same time running his big palms over the short fabric of his tunic, pulling _ever so slightly_ at the hem so that she could _just_ make out the length of him, peeking back at her.

And it was _quite_ a length, at least, if sculptures were anything to go by. Rey bit her lip as she tried to stare without being obvious, but the smile on Kylo’s face made her realize he had her exactly where he wanted. Now, she had gotten his attention. Was it a bad thing to have the attention of the King of Saturnalia?

He was wicked and divine, and perhaps the Gods favored her enough that Rey too would be able to sample from his alluring body? Not to be entirely outdone, Rey lay back on her _lectus,_ body languid and relaxed as she let the slit in her dress open wider and wider. Shifting to the side, the deep swoop of her gown dropped almost low enough to reveal her breasts, and certainly low enough to reveal a hint of her nipples.

Kylo watched her, eyes molten and focused as she shimmied. Under his gaze, her body felt molten, and she knew there was only one man who could quench the flames of her desire. Though she was inexperienced, Rey was a woman of the world and had heard tales of what happened between couples… and she was curious.

She wanted him. From the moment he stepped into the courtyard, his presence had dominated all else. _He_ was the focus. The other guests performed and writhed for him and at his whim. The party was _his, and_ they all knew it. Fortunately, their king was benevolent and drew out from them the kind of merriment they were wont to indulge in.

The night carried on, later and later, until the smells and sounds of wine and food and sex and mischief filled the air. Rey was remarkably sober but felt weighed down by the heaviness of her need. Once or twice, at a heated look or an shift in Kylo’s position that seemed as if it was entirely for her benefit, she almost reached down between the layers of her gown to _show him_ just how much he was affecting her.

But perhaps he was not interested in being with someone like her? Surely, more experienced partners would warm his bed tonight? She was silly to think he wanted her when there were others to choose from—some of which were making glowing examples of exactly how they would pay homage to the king of the evening.

Perhaps it would be better if Rey turned her attention elsewhere, to avoid that crushing disappointment when he inevitably chose someone else to be with. But before she could shift away from his gaze, Kylo’s hand rose and silence again fell over the party.

This was it. Kylo was going to be choosing his partner for the evening, she just knew it. Rey nibbled her lip as she waited for his crushing words to reach her ears.

“Drink, be merry, and await my return,” he said, standing slow enough that the flex and play of his muscles were evident to everyone who was watching, and they _were_ watching.

Kylo was a handsome man, and tonight he would be a much sought-after lover. Whoever he chose to be his companion this eve was blessed, indeed. But Rey was young, untouched. Someone like her would not draw the eye of such a man. But much to her surprise, Kylo strode toward where she lay and stretched out his hand.

“I want you to join me.”

For a moment, she was confused. Surely, he could not mean her? Rey took a moment to blink up at him in surprise but, truly, he was waiting for her to respond. And what did she want? Kylo’s family was part of the ruling class, and normally outside of her circle of influence.

But he’d chosen her. A patrician’s daughter. When she had spent the greater part of her youth wandering about and dreaming of him. And now, here he was before her, hand outstretched in supplication. The King of Saturnalia wanted _her._

Rey took a breath to steady herself as her heart ached before her mind could intervene. Reaching up, she slipped her hand into his, and let him lead her into a secluded chamber within the villa.

The King of Saturnalia seemed covetous of her. Away from prying eyes, he urged her to lay while he kneeled at her side. Ample food and drink had been prepared for them and rested on a table nearby, but just as Rey moved to get a glass for Kylo, he stopped her.

“Please, allow me,” his deep voice rumbled.

Rey’s brow furrowed, but who was she to question the desires of this man? The night was his, wasn’t it? And if he wanted to serve her, then far be it from her to stop him. Kylo poured her a glass of wine before doing the same for himself.

“ _Sanitas bona_ ,” he toasted, and Rey replied in kind.

Lifting the glass to her lips, she drank. It was a familiar taste… The sweet drink warmed her from the inside out and seemed to blur the rough edges of the night. Her body felt relaxed, even as her mind hopefully considered what would happen next.

Saturnalia was not a night for idle chatter, it was a night for action, though Rey had the most uncanny feeling that Kylo was hesitating. He, king of the night, was worried about… What? Frightening her? His lips were pressed together in a tight, white line. He’d settled into a seat beside her, but his body was tense, like a lion who was waiting for the perfect moment to pounce.

A bead of sweat trailed down the long length of his neck and onto his collarbone. His breathing was quick and shallow, cheeks slightly flushed, and Rey watched and realized that she’d misjudged his mood.

 _No, he’s not worried... He wants to devour me._ Rey smiled, buoyed up by her desire and liquid courage. She locked gazes with Kylo, and this time, when she stood, he did not stop her. First, she removed her belt. Next, the small clasps at her shoulders, and then the soft layers of her gown fell open until she was mostly revealed to his ardent gaze. But still, he merely watched as if contenting himself with the sight of her alone. That would not do.

Her hand skimmed over the slight curve of her breast before descending over her soft belly, and then lower still. And yet, he watched. His body was tense, hands curled at his sides as if he was holding himself back. But why?

“My Lord, will you not honor me with your touch?” she asked. Only in her dreams would she be so brazen.

“Ahh, you tempt me, Priestess,” he murmured.

 _Priestess? Such a strange thing to call me,_ she thought. _Is he confusing me for someone else?_

But her confusion quickly fled from her mind as Kylo reached out and gently trailed a finger along the plush skin of her inner thigh, retracing the decadent path she had revealed to him. He leaned in, hand finally latching itself behind her neck, another on her hip, as he gently urged her to lay along his body. Now, fully sharing the _lectus,_ her body was splayed across his.

His heat and strength were as heady to her as the wine she’d sampled. Rey leaned in and let her cheek rest against his chest, fingers worrying along the line of his tunic, tracing over skin and fabric as she breathed him in.

He smelled like the air just before a storm—dangerous, alluring, rolling through her senses like a bolt of lighting. It was… achingly familiar. And, not for the first time, she wondered whether she and this man had made a previous connection. She might have asked him, had his hand not dipped to cup her bottom, pulling her tighter against him.

“Tell me your desires,” he murmured against the top of her head.

Rey laughed a little. “Are you not the King of Saturnalia? I thought it was your desires that were meant to be fulfilled on this night?”

His chest expanded against her cheek as he huffed softly. “And if all I desire is currently in my arms?”

“I would question your honesty.”

“Ahh, are you accusing the King of Saturnalia of being dishonest?”

Rey leaned back and looked into his masked face. It was a fearsome thing, especially with that long gash across it. But she realized that it was only a mirage, something to hide the true nature of his heart within. She reached up and gently trailed a finger over his full lips.

“How can I be the only thing you wanted, when you’ve never met me?” she wondered softly.

“Haven’t I? It feels as if this is not the first time I’ve held you in my arms.”

Rey smiled and adjusted her mask a little. “Are you trying to be sweet hoping I will submit myself to you? For, as you can see, I’m in your arms and on your lap.”

“Perhaps I am hoping this carries on beyond just Saturnalia?”

Rey hummed thoughtfully. “Well, I suppose I’ll need some convincing then.”

Kylo grinned. “It would be my pleasure.”

Rey tilted her head back and let her eyes slip closed as he brushed his lips against hers once… twice… His hand tangled in the long length of her hair, urging her closer as he deepened the kiss. His tongue darted out, gently slipping between her lips to tangle sweetly with her own.

Before she realized what was happening, Kylo dipped and took her into his arms. After a tight squeeze, he positioned her on the long chaise. With a heated look, he slowly covered her body with his. He stared down at her for long moments, eyes trailing over her face and the places the mask hid. Reaching up, she went to remove her mask, but his hand gently stopped her.

“Don’t you want to see my face?” she pouted.

Kylo smiled. “More than anything, but I’m afraid it’ll destroy the illusion.”

“Of what?”

Kylo’s smile widened, but he did not explain further. She had to admit, there was something strange about this Saturnalia. It almost felt as if she was at the edge of dreaming and being awake. Perhaps he was right. Something about this felt so fragile, that it might at any moment shatter apart.

“It’s no matter, I suppose,” she huffed softly. “I see your face every night in my dreams.”

“Is that so?” He looked inordinately happy about this admission. She almost wanted to tell him again just to see the quirk of his cheek as he smiled.

“Mmm, of course,” she replied. Somehow, there was truth in her words. And, regardless, she would see his masked face in her dreams for many days to come.

“You are such a temptation,” he murmured.

“Well, it is Saturnalia, isn’t it? Aren’t we meant to indulge, my King?”

For a moment, Kylo’s gaze looked strange, haunted even. Like he was thinking of something beyond the moment. Somehow, it was a familiar expression, and it made her heart ache.

“Surely here… Surely now… We can…?” she breathed, fighting the sudden sadness that pricked her heart.

His hand gently cupped her cheek as he pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “Yes. Now will have to be more than enough for both of us.”

Another confusing remark, but before she could ask more, Kylo’s lips descended and, with a pointed look, he dipped his head and trailed a long line of kisses down the length of her abdomen, inching closer and closer to her needy cunt.

_Surely, he couldn’t mean to…?_

His hand slipped, trailing between the soft, damp curls between her legs. Kylo petted her there, fingers delving and splaying against her sensitive flesh as Rey twisted into his touch. She was breathless and nearly ready to beg him for more, when his hands shifted, slipping behind her full bottom, cupping and lifting as she realized he was intent on sampling _her._

Rational thought and concerns about propriety fled from her mind as Kylo gently lapped at her sex, slipping his long tongue between her slick folds as she writhed against his mouth, legs thrown over his shoulders as he suckled _her_ sweet ichor.

Her hands tangled in his thick, dark hair, holding tight as he pushed her higher and higher. His tongue lapped at her, the wide press sliding up from her core and over the sweet spot that ached for him.

Her body felt outside of her control, yet he made her feel like he was just as mad for her. The thick muscles of his shoulders flexed as he cupped her bottom, pulling her up and into his lips as the flat of his tongue painted her with slow, maddening swipes. But once his hand shifted, and a finger slipped within her folds, Rey thought that perhaps she would need more than this kind of fulfillment.

She fought to tell him her desires, but he was so dedicated to his task that coherent thought was nearly impossible. Still, as her head lolled and her body rose to meet his mouth, she gasped out, “Please! More!”

And he laughed against the inside of her thigh, promising, “Soon,” but quickly returning to her sex with a dedication that bordered on obsession. Finally, her legs tensed around his shoulders, her body as tight as a bowstring as the breath caught in her throat.

He knew, he knew exactly what was coming, and instead of relenting, his mouth continued its assault and he slipped a _second_ finger within, pumping insistently along with the steady swipe of his tongue.

And it was too much to bear. With a rough gasp, Rey’s back arched and her legs tightened as her body _clenched._ And the name she gasped as she came was his as her pleasure crested and, had she been more aware, she would have seen what a wicked smile that earned her.

Hot and achy, she was still needy, body craving something more than he’d already given. Rey closed her eyes and whined softly as he continued to lap at her, rolling out those residual waves of pleasure until her body felt boneless.

“More,” she begged.

“Always,” he promised as he gently lowered her.

Kylo slipped up from the chaise, and she almost protested until she realized what he meant to do. His hand tore at the clasp on his waist impatiently as he efficiently stripped himself before her. Though he’d done a good job at giving her the impression that he was in control, his actions belied his impatience.

The moment his tunic was stripped away, Rey was faced with the full glory of his body. Glistening slightly in the low light, it seemed as if every inch of him was corded with muscles and, just as she’d hoped, he had a few scars over his abdomen—in particular, what looked like a burn mark low on his stomach.

He was brutally beautiful and as impatient to have her as she was to be taken. Still, she felt vulnerable placed as she was. She was glad that the mask hid her cheeks, for she was surely blushing to the roots of her hair.

“I’m not quite… This is my first time…,” she murmured, all brazenness leaving her when confronted with what she’d surely be doing next.

And there was much to consider given the size of him. Surely, it was not _all_ meant to fit? Rey’s mind cycled through the gossip and hearsay she’d heard about lovers and sex from servants over the years, thoughts spiraling as she grappled with what to do next.

Fortunately, Kylo was patient, though his desire for her was undeniable.

“Shall I show you?” he offered while settling beside her.

Rey ducked her head and nodded quickly. First, he pulled her onto his lap and reached out to tease at her folds before gently pressing in, as he had before when he’d lapped between her legs. She enjoyed the sensation of having him within her, but his fingers were one thing, the thick length of him was another matter entirely.

Something must have flashed in her eyes because he assured her, “I will go slow.”

“And if it hurts?”

“I will stop,” he replied with a smile.

“And if I want more?”

Kylo chuckled softly as he slipped another finger within, gently splaying as he murmured, “Then I will not.”

Her body got used to the thick feel of his fingers, and soon enough her hips were twisting as she moved, seeking to extend the pleasure of his touch. With a smile, he withdrew as Rey pouted.

“More?” he teased before slipping his slick fingers into his mouth.

“Please…,” she replied, breathless with nervous anticipation.

The length of him was semi-hard against his stomach, and with a few swift motions with his hand, he was fully hard before her. He was much larger than his fingers, but she trusted him to show her the way of things.

“Come forward a little,” he urged. Rey shimmied her hips until she was positioned atop his straining thickness.

With his hand at her hip and one positioned around his cock, he urged her closer until she was pressing against the full head of him. She squirmed a little as her body adjusted to the sweet intrusion. Once she got used to the feel of him slightly within her, she pressed on, gently ushered forward by the steady pleasure of his hand and the fullness that suffused her body as he entered.

But she was very untested, and she reached a point where the pleasure bordered pain. With his full lip caught between his teeth and his body straining with his obvious need, he held her, soothing her with a gentle touch as she breathed softly and adjusted to the thick feel of him so deep inside.

“There is… about half left,” Kylo said, words tapering off to a groan as her hips shifted.

“ _Gods,_ ” she cursed. “Truly?”

Kylo gave her a pinched smile. “Allow me…?” He reached out, thumb dipping just around the edge of where he and she were joined before returning, slick and soft, to rub between her legs. And, remarkably, it _did_ help. The tension fled from her body as she relaxed, slipped a little deeper, and found that the sweet sensation of him against her skin was heightened by the feel of him within.

Soon enough, her body had relented enough to allow the full length of his cock to seat itself inside of her. Still, his thumb continued its gentle ministrations, playing her body as expertly as a musician with his instrument. She found that she wanted much more than stillness as he touched her.

Shifting her hips, she experimented, slowly at first, but then finding a rhythm that had them both panting. A glorious flush had worked its way over his pale body, culminating in his cheeks and across his chest. Her hands slipped over the expanse of his broad body, enjoying the feeling of him against her as they moved together.

He kept her there, astride him like a goddess come down from upon high to worship at the temple of his body. She felt powerful as she moved, heartbeats syncing as their bodies entwined. Higher and higher they pushed each other until time blended into nothingness. Until the sound and heat and pleasure of their bodies was too much to bear.

Rey gasped, fingers digging into his shoulders as her body radiated with a pleasure that shimmered from her core outward. Her head dipped against his shoulder, teeth scraping across his muscles as she none too gently bit into his hot flesh. It was different than before, and so much more as her hot cunt clenched around his cock, demanding his release.

With a soft inhale, Kylo let out a low groan as he stiffened beneath her. Hot and hard inside her, his cock pulsed and pulsed, spilling that liquid heat within her as she slowly ground her hips and drew out the last remnants of his pleasure, and her own. Finally spent, Rey leaned forward and lay on his chest.

A little sleepy and satisfied, Rey basked in the afterglow. But it wasn’t long before Kylo’s insistent touch reminded her that the night was not yet done and that the King of Saturnalia was far from satisfied. Time seemed meaningless as he took her, again and again, until her body was pleasantly sore and her voice rough from calling out her pleasure.

And as the sun finally crested over the horizon, bathing the villa in its eternal glow, Rey sleepily wished she had the power to stay Apollo’s hand, for just a moment, to make the night last. Saturnalia was but a dream in the waking world, but it was a dream that she would take with her for the rest of her days.

“Sleep now,” Kylo murmured against her damp brow. “I’ll find you when you wake up.”

“But you’re with me now,” she mumbled softly while nuzzling into his chest.

“Am I?” he whispered as her eyes closed and the world around her disappeared into nothingness.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**More notes:**

-The manspread on the chaise is me just being shamelessly self indulgent because I’m fucking pissed I didn’t get that in the movie and it’s such bullshit GOD. THOS THIGHS AND NO MANSPRED? WHY ARE JJ AND CHRIS? THE WORST? FUCK OFFFFFFFF. (This was written BEFORE that shot of BTS shot of Kylo dropped, SO I FEEL LIKE I MANIFESTED IT). Anyway. Please don’t expect that this is super historically accurate. I did my best, but I’m taking a lot of liberties here (A LOTTTTTTT), but I feel like some of the Romans were decadent enough that they’d be ok with it. Though Saturnalia was p slutty, so I’m not taking that many liberties in that regard (though whether women would have been at some celebrations depends on the time period of the Roman Empire. This is a dream, so Rey gets to have fun lol).

-Paraphrased Latin quote! “Astra inclinant, sed non obligant” The stars incline us, they do not bind us. Not only because it’s the title of the Roman AU that inspired this lol but because I love the quote. There’s something comforting in the idea that, even if things feel destined, we can still change our course.

-A lectus is basically a chaise. Perfect for layin and seducin.

-A hypocaust is basically central heating for Ancient Rome (generally Roman baths, etc, but it's a dream and they're at a villa so whatever they can have a hypocaust. You get a hypocaust, and you get a hypocaust, EVERYONE GETS A HYPOCAUST).

-Me, laughing to myself about oral sex in Ancient Rome. So, it’s Rey’s dream, and it _is_ Saturnalia so who knows, but the act of giving oral sex was stigmatized in society at the time, so it’s highly unlikely that a highborn male would give it—to a man or woman (definitely was ok to receive it), or that there wouldn’t be societal implications if he _did_ and was caught. BUT this is Reylo. Kylo is all about that life, so it is what it is lol. Also, dicks that were considered beautiful were NOT BIG, but it's Kylo, so ya know. It is what it is lol. [More info concerning this for the interested](https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-ancient-greek-sculptures-small-penises) (scholarly article-ish lol). [And the wiki on sex in ancient Rome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexuality_in_ancient_Rome) if you're a nerd like me.

Hope you're all taking care, keeping healthy, drinking water, remembering to eat, and uhhhhh yeah it's been a week. BIG HUGS!

* * *

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**Socials: You can reach me on my Twitter thing for fandom[@pacificwandere1](https://twitter.com/pacificwandere1) but I'm also still on Tumblr [@pacificwanderer](https://pacificwanderer.tumblr.com/). Come give me a shout in either place, though I'm trying to do more writing and less social media for 2020 :) (and I'm actually doing better at this YAY lol)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey wakes after her long, erotic dream to find that she’s safely within the walls of her Goddess’ temple. Safe, due to the care of the handsome Commander, Kylo Ren, she redoubles her efforts and recommits herself to her duties, until a missive from Emperor Hux calls her to an event at the Colosseum. There, Kylo is waiting. Though they play a dangerous game, neither can deny that there is much pleasure in temptation. But what will crack first, Rey’s resolve? Or her heart?

_Wake up, Priestess…_

Rey woke with a start to find herself alone in her small room. The soft sounds of birds chirping greeted her ears and heralded the beginning of a new day. Such a pity, then, that the drum beating inside her head kept her from enjoying it.

_What… happened yesterday? Was someone calling me?_

A small table had been set beside her bed. Atop, a pitcher and a small cup awaited. She could only hope it was water within. She managed to sit and, reaching out with shaky hands, Rey slowly poured herself a drink and, wonder of wonders, water filled her glass. She needed it. Her mouth was parched and tasted faintly of wine and sick.

She remembered… drinking some offered wine. But what happened next? Rey vaguely recalled a pair of amused hazel eyes, a soft laugh, and strong, warm arms. Her spine straightened immediately as she realized that, despite not remembering most of the night, she decidedly _did_ remember being scooped up into Kylo’s arms.

_Goddess Rhea preserve me…_ she thought as other bleary memories returned to her. Her face smashing into Kylo’s chest for one. Her hand on his cheek, another. And, though she could not be quite certain, the memory of the softest kiss against her brow, and perhaps the feeling of being shifted into another set of arms.

_Finn…_ she thought. Her _lictor_ must have found Kylo with her. Thank the Gods for that! The last thing she needed was one of the other priestesses finding her in the arms of one of Rome’s most notorious Commanders. Still, that meant she had some explaining to do to Finn, who was already not so fond of Kylo or his interest in Rey.

But she did not have a chance to explain herself to her friend before she tended to her daily duties. Several days passed before she saw Finn, and by that time, he was largely concerned with other matters as a missive had arrived from Emperor Hux—another invitation to the games at the Colosseum that could not be ignored.

So, the story of her being scooped up and carried in Kylo’s arms hadn’t reached the ears of the emperor. That was a wonderful relief. The cunning and cruel Emperor had a strange and inappropriate attachment to her, and the last thing Rey wanted was to draw any more attention. Finn hovered over Rey as she read the parchment.

“Another invitation?” he grumbled.

“It seems so,” Rey replied. Finn always accompanied her procession as she and other priestesses of Vesta were carried through the city on official business, and Finn liked the Emperor about as much as Rey did.

“I do not trust his intentions,” Finn said. Worry lines marred his dark brown face, and Rey almost teased him about getting wrinkles, but she knew he was right to worry. The Emperor did have an unhealthy attachment to her, and personal invitations like this only solidified that fact.

“Nor do I, but I need not worry with such a strong, handsome _lictor_ as you by my side!”

Finn sighed and ran his head across his close-cropped black hair. “And we both know that the Emperor’s guard takes precedence over me. I hate that I have to defer to Hux’s guards, while you have to go in there and…” Finn trailed off, whether losing his words or fearing to say too much.

Speaking against the emperor was treason, so he had good reason to worry. There was no telling who was listening and for whom. And Rey had long suspected that Emperor Hux had a spy ring. It was not so far out of the realm of believability to assume that he had spies within her temple.

Rey huffed and tossed the missive onto her table. “Kylo will be there.”

Finn groaned. “And is that supposed to make me feel better? I worry about him almost as much as the emperor.”

Rey gave her friend a look. His full lips were set into a frown, and his hands were on his hips like he was getting ready to scold her.

“We both know that is not true. And…,” she leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Look at how he helped me.”

Finn leaned in close. “You mean when you escaped my guard and went wandering in Rome? Yes, I’m grateful he kept you from feeling the full consequences of those actions,” he drawled. “But you did not see him as I did.”

“You found him outside of the temple, I presume?”

Finn rolled his eyes. “You presume much, _Priestess_. I was _looking_ for you. And I found him on his way to the temple. Fortunately, before he got here with you in his arms.”

Rey winced at that. He only seemed to call her ‘Priestess’ during official outings, or when he was very upset with her. Not that she gave Finn frequent reasons to be upset with her. But still, it stung to hear the censure in his voice, though she knew she deserved it.

“And?”

“And you may well have been Venus herself for how he looked at you.”

Rey blushed at his rather blunt words. They both knew that nothing good would come from earning the affection of someone like Kylo Ren. But she could not pretend that Finn’s words had not sent a secret thrill through her, even though she knew it was safest to smother those feelings.

“Well, I did mean to thank you for the rescue,” she mumbled.

“It was not the first time, and I don’t suspect it will be the last.”

Back to ‘Rey,’ at least. Perhaps his anger was not as sharp as he let on? No, perhaps anger was not the right word. Finn was her friend, and she had made him worry. She was in the wrong here, and she had imposed herself on both her friend and Kylo. Rey only had herself to blame.

Reaching out, Rey took Finn’s hand into hers and gave it a tight squeeze before apologizing. “I am sorry to make you worry. It was irresponsible of me to leave on my own.”

Finn sighed. “I do understand the desire to escape this place, really I do, but there are too many illicit places and people in this city who would do you harm, especially during Saturnalia.”

Rey did not think that most would be brazen enough to harm a priestess of Vesta, but then she was drugged. Though, perhaps they didn’t know who she was or who she served? It did not matter. She was still wrong and now the Gods had seen fit to challenge her by forcing her to attend another event with Emperor Hux.

She supposed it was a small punishment, given that the Gods had also sent Kylo to rescue her. She had three days until the event and, in the meantime, she would do her best to follow all the rules of her temple and to make her friend’s day easier by not giving him a reason to worry.

And everything went according to plan, at least until she stepped foot into the Colosseum. She had lingered with Finn at the entrance and waited for his assurances that he would be fine and safe waiting for her outside. He did not much enjoy the games and enjoyed Hux’s guards even less.

“I will have a better time out here,” he explained, and as much as it pained her, she agreed.

Once, Finn had followed her into one of the emperor’s events, only to nearly come to blows with one of his arrogant Royal Guards after he’d been denied entrance to the seating area. Hux’s guards were known for being antagonistic and cruel, and the last thing she wanted was for any harm to come to her friend.

“Well, watch out for cutthroats and cutpurses,” she warned.

Finn raised an eyebrow before flashing her a stunning smile. “Warning me, your _lictor_? Really?”

“Yes, well, Poe would never forgive me if you were to get hurt while with me. So, please promise me you’ll be safe?”

Finn sighed softly before placing his hand over his heart. “I swear it, my Lady.”

“Thank you, noble sir,” she replied before giving her friend one final smile before leaving him to his devices.

Turning to face the Colosseum, Rey descended into the depths of the massive structure, taking care to pick up her pace and rejoin her group. She always got a little turned around as she moved through the building. It was vast, and more to the point it was loud and disorienting. Just when she thought she might mistakenly end up in a lion’s cage, a soft laugh caught her attention.

_Oh, oh no._

She turned and looked straight into the handsome and infuriating face that she knew was waiting for her.

“What fortune, Priestess,” Kylo drawled before stepping forward. He looked even more handsome than the night he saved her, not that she remembered much… except for her elicit dreams, which were better thought of in private and _not_ when Kylo was standing before her, looking like a God come to life.

As ever, his aura seemed to take up the available space around him, though his broad body did well enough at that, too. Today, he was dripping in robes—dark purple, trimmed with gold, that spoke to his station. His waist was cinched tight and drew attention to his svelte frame while the broadness of his shoulders and the muscles of his exposed arms spoke to his life as a soldier.

He looked good. _Too_ good. And he knew it as he caught her staring. Rey tugged on her veil to obscure her face from him as he laughed.

“You should know by now how hard it is to hide from me,” he teased.

“Yes, well, it is hardly appropriate for you and I to be meeting like this unchaperoned.”

“Oh, you’d prefer an audience? You shock me, Priestess.”

Rey glared up at him. Even as tall as she was, he seemed _impossibly_ larger. It was so frustrating to be angry with someone who made her feel so small and impotent. Like a small child with her fists balled at her side yelling at a titan.

“I am sure I do not know what you mean. Now, if you will excuse me, I am expected.” She needed to put as much distance between herself and the handsome Commander as possible. The last thing she needed was to spend any more time alone with him, but just as she turned to leave, Kylo reached out toward her.

“Priestess,” he murmured. He meant to take her hand, and Rey knew better than to allow him this. He was hard enough to resist just as he was, never mind when he was touching her. And now, thanks to her late-night indiscretion, she had memories enough of his touch. Adding one more memory would be folly.

“I need to… I really should be going now,” she said, though she sounded more like she was convincing herself than trying to dictate terms to Kylo.

And he was not deterred in the slightest. A slow smile worked its way onto his handsome face, full lips parting, words a breathless murmur as he spoke words that shot right through to the quick of her. “Indulge me, please….”

_Gods above and below,_ she cursed again as he repeated her demand from the other evening. Detail after detail of the wicked dream came rushing back, as if encouraged by his proximity. Wicked details of _him_ and all the things she imagined him doing to her— _her_! A priestess of Vesta. It was appalling! And, what was worse, he seemed to _know_ her thoughts as he stood there, head slightly tilted toward her, hand outstretched, awaiting her favor.

_Does he know what I dreamed of? Did I speak of such things as he held me in his arms?_ she wondered.

Truly, a strange sort of connection seemed to thrum between them both. Sometimes, she felt he knew her better than any other person in the world. But how could someone like her have such a bond with a man like him?

Could the Gods be so cruel as to bind her to someone that was beyond her reach—at least for many years? But the more she worried, the more she realized that it was true. Kylo connected with her like no other, and she did the same for him. It had saved his life once. Now, their bond had likely saved hers.

_What is Vesta’s plan for us?_ she wondered as he stood and waited for her decision. _Is there a happy ending for us one day?_

She knew, Gods, she knew what that hand felt like. Knew the way his rough callouses caught on her skin as he softly trailed his fingers over her body. Knew what it felt like against the pleasurable places between her legs and _within._ It was enough to drive her mad. Still, somehow, she reached out, and just as she thought to deny him, he met her halfway and captured her hand within his own.

It was just as she dreamed—warm and rough and perfect. Fingers so long they were indecent, curled seductively along the sensitive skin on the underside of her wrist. And he knew, Gods, he knew the kind of impact he had on her, though she should have been able to steel herself against his charms.

His fingers gently tightened around her wrist and pulled upward. She knew he was going to kiss her hand, and he moved so slow that she could have stopped him, but she did not. Rey stood there as he pulled her hand close, breath caressing before lips met skin as he pressed… _and kissed her_.

Surely Janus had forgotten his divine duty as, for long moments, time felt like it was stretching. Minutes morphed into hours, hours into a piece of eternity until time felt meaningless. Here she was, a priestess of Vesta. And here he was, a celebrated Commander of glorious Rome. They were impossible, and yet, they fit. Their coming together felt like a keystone sliding into place in an archway stretched across time and circumstance that allowed them one stolen moment of perfection.

She knew, if she let him, he would take her back to the grand apartments he surely inhabited and show her all the ways he could indulge a woman. Rey knew, if she but said the word, that he would take her from Rome itself, turn traitor to the Emperor and the Empire, just so he could lay himself at her feet and worship upon the altar of her existence.

And she would be the worst kind of priestess—no, person—to ask that of him. What life would they have if she gave in, if she let him love her? Running from a ruthless emperor like Hux? Never finding peace? How could she do that to him, after he’d experienced a lifetime of killing and conquering for the Empire, now that he was afforded some measure of peace?

_No. Not now. Maybe not ever._ Rey did not expect someone like Kylo Ren to wait for her, though her heart did hope. A quote quickly fluttered into her mind while Kylo’s lips parted against her skin, just as his tongue darted out to _taste…_ _Hope is the pillar that holds up the world. Hope is the dream of a waking man._

To hope. To dream. To wait for the impossible.

The long layers of her veil fell against her cheeks as she stared up into his heated gaze. Eyes that reminded her of the warm, sandy beaches of Ostia stared back at her. She could get lost in that gaze forever, fall so deeply into it that there would be no hope of ever finding herself again. He could show her that life, one full of mirth and warm rays of sunshine. Maybe he one day would.

For now, she had her vows… and she would always have her dreams of him, enhanced by the decadence of his presence and the heat of his touch. It would be enough for her. It had to be. Something must have shown in her face as, for a moment, he looked down on her, brow furrowed with worry.

Could he sense her sadness? He always seemed to know what she was thinking… feeling. He was more perceptive than he would have others believe. Perhaps that was part of why he was so successful as a Commander and so feared. He could _sense_ her like no other, not even her friends or other sisters at the temple.

He could read her like a scroll and even wrote a few passages of his own in her story, while he was at it. For a moment, she closed her eyes and breathed in his presence. He smelled faintly of incense today, and she wondered whether he had visited her Goddess’s temple. As close as she was, the heat of his body was intoxicating and she just barely had the presence of mind to keep herself from leaning into that lush heat.

She wanted… _him._ And that was too much to bear. But before she could pull away, Kylo leaned close, lips still poised against her captive wrist, as he teased, “Priestess… Have I made you think impure thoughts? What will your goddess think of this when she reads your heart?”

_Ahh_ , anger. Annoyance. Feelings she could cling to as she fought to keep the walls up between herself and the tempting Commander. Not content to let him get the upper hand, Rey slipped her hand from his and tightly clasped his wrist, pulling it towards her face with a fierce sort of determination.

Kylo Ren stared on, too shocked to stop her as she parted her lips and took one of his long fingers into her mouth. She waited until he was staring into her eyes. Waited until heat and desire were swirling within the warm depths of his eyes. And then she bit him. Hard enough that it probably left a mark.

She unclenched her jaw as he yelped and quickly pulled his hand back. “How daring! I did not think you had it in you, Priestess.”

“There is so much you do not know about me, Kylo Ren.”

“Back to that, are you? Why not call me ‘Commander,’ while you’re at it?”

Rey glared up at him. “I think we both know that you would find that exceedingly enjoyable. Kylo Ren will suffice.”

Readying to turn and leave him where he stood, Kylo had one final trick up his sleeve. His smile was devious as he caught her eye, as he took his slick finger, slipped it between his full lips, and gave one, long, indolent suck.

He gasped, broad body shuddering softly as he took the taste of her into his mouth, clearly enjoying. “Like sweet pomegranate and the ash from incense. Temptation and warning. Utter perfection, Priestess,” he murmured, his gaze never leaving her own.

Rey swallowed thickly. She felt half-infuriated, half-needy. Who was he to tempt her so, when he knew what the punishment was for defiling a priestess of Vesta? This fearsome commander, whose reputation on the battlefield had bled into civilian life so completely that half the empire was terrified of him, stood before her. Making her desire him. When he _knew_ it was…

Wait. He knew, did he not? He was teasing her! And she had almost… _Oh, infernal stars!_ This man would be the death of her!

Cheeks red, head held high, Rey finally grounded herself. “I have had quite enough of the infamous Kylo Ren for one day, I think.”

“Oh, truly? I do have several other fingers that are available for sampling if you so desire.”

Rey’s lips were pinched, and she just kept herself from rounding on the Commander to tell him exactly where he could shove his fingers, but she knew he wanted that. He loved to tease out her ire, to watch as passion and anger and something like desire warred within her while she did her best to keep her distance. She hated… No. She did not hate him. She… well, she was not entirely sure what she thought of Kylo, other than he was handsome and infuriating and…

_Enough. You are a priestess of Vesta, and you have taken your vows. Remember yourself!_ With a soft huff, Rey spun on her heel and stomped away from him, only realizing too late that she was heading in the wrong direction. With a sigh, her shoulders slumped as she turned and stomped past Kylo again. He’d moved to lean against the wall, and the cascading waves of his tunic cupped his body almost indecently.

He knew. He _had_ to know what he was doing and how he looked. Rey focused on the long hallway and made her way toward one of the exits without sparing him another look. The sound of his laughter resonated down the stone corridor as she hurried along, hoping no one would note how flushed her cheeks were or that she was fleeing Kylo Ren. But what had happened, truly, between them, during that Saturnalia night? She could ask, but that was what the alluring Commander wanted.

No, better to ignore him and forget anything happened. Rey took her seat and was careful not to draw the attention of Emperor Hux. The last thing she wanted was to have to spend the day at his side, pretending to be enthralled whenever he deigned to speak to her.

As the day dragged on, and one game blended into the next, her mind wandered. On occasion, she’d look over to stare at where Kylo was seated—just behind and to the right of the Emperor, the latter of which looked bored. It was never good when the Emperor was bored, people and animals died when the Emperor was bored.

As fortune would have it, one of his favorite gladiators, Flamma the Syrian just stepped into the arena. Flamma was known for being quite the showman and for being so impressive within the arena that he had actually won his freedom four times over. Still, the gladiator was dedicated to his life and enjoyed the glory that came along with being beloved of Rome.

Still, nothing could tempt her gaze from the infamous Kylo Ren, who looked sullen and bored until he noted her looking over at him. Then his whole demeanor changed. He sat tall, puffed his broad chest out, and stretched his arms languidly over his head.

_Gods above and below,_ Rey cursed. She _had_ said something about his arms and his chest, hadn’t she? The sheer embarrassment. It would almost be worth it to throw herself at Hux’s feet and tell him that Kylo had her in his arms. Dying at the hands of a gladiator would surely be less torturous than this.

_Still…_ Making sure her veil hid her face well enough from the emperor, Rey indulged herself and kept looking at the lascivious warrior, long enough that eventually a blush stained _his_ pale cheeks. It was not much in the way of retribution, but it would have to do. Though, perhaps there was something more she could do to tease him?

Smothering a smile, Rey raised her hands to her lips, and let one finger slip into her mouth. She mimicked his earlier action as he watched, body rigid, hands clasped tight against the arms of his seat.

He looked like one of the caged tigers for special events at the Colosseum—coiled, eyes fixed on her, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce and claim his prey. Except there was no perfect moment. He had to sit there and watch her and she sucked, eyes slipping shut as she imagined… What, exactly?

Let him wonder. Let him dream. Let him ache for her, as she ached for him. She hazarded another glance in his direction. He swallowed thickly, throat moving before his mouth opened, and his tongue slid out. Slowly, he trailed the tip of his tongue over his lips, circling as he imagined… What _was_ he imagining?

For a moment, it was as if they were one. The strange connection that ran between them both pulsed with sudden fierceness. She was him; he was her, and together they were something as everlasting and true as the Gods themselves. Suddenly, the future was solid and clear in her mind—they were together; they were happy; they were…

The crowd roared as Flamma felled another opponent. Hux was _thrilled,_ half-drunk on wine and bloodlust as he watched the bodies fall. Today, the gladiators fought to the death, as was the Emperor’s preference. The tangy smell of blood, sweat, and death hung in the air and brought Rey back firmly into the moment.

Her cheeks flushed as she realized where she was and, more importantly, whose presence they were in. Kylo, noting her discomfort, laughed into his hand before turning away with a smug smile. Rey shook her head and grudgingly turned back to the ring. He was no end of trouble for her, but she couldn’t deny that she did like him.

He was handsome and wealthy—desired by no less than half the city, if the rumors were true. But none of that mattered to Rey. He saw her, in a way that no one else did. And it was in that moment of connection that she felt _whole._ It was uncanny, nearly felt touched by the Gods, and yet, the Gods were cruel to send her a soulmate now, when they could not have each other.

Rey straightened her back and asked her Goddess Rhea for strength as she resolved to keep Kylo at a distance for both of their sakes. Her eyes were unfocused as she pretended to take in the carnage and chaos, and tried to avoid the notice of the nearby Emperor.

But still, Kylo’s presence and the feel of him lingered in her mind, no matter how hard she tried to exorcise him from her psyche. Rey sighed quietly and hazarded a quick look over at Kylo, who immediately caught her and smiled.

Rey bristled, for it was easier to feel anger than admit to the truth of the matter, that Kylo Ren was slowly working his way into her heart and she, virgin priestess that she was, was falling in love with the notorious Roman playboy and Commander.

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**Author's Notes:** Thanks for reading and indulging me in my super self-indulgent fic here lol. If you're interested in more, my fic, [**The Stars Incline Us** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10556486/chapters/23318860)continues where this story leaves off (kind of wraps around it, actually).

**More notes:**

-Quote from Pliny the Elder! “Hope is the pillar that holds up the world. Hope is the dream of a waking man.” Who is ALSO featured on one of the newer episodes of [Puppet History about Vesuvius](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kn9tr1nhU7E)! Lol. That’s not why I used him here, I googled quotes about hope and liked his haha.

-Ostia is a modern Italian town, and is Ancient Ostia (Ostia Antica) is an ancient Roman town that’s just outside of Rome (and is so worth the visit if you’re a slut for ancient Rome and architecture/towns, like I am). At one point, due to its proximity to the sea, it was covered in silt before it was unearthed. Now, it’s a historical attraction. It has a beautifully preserved amphitheater (and mosaics and frescos) AND buildings that give a really clear look at how things were in Ancient Rome during the 4th century (though it was used up until the 9th and before that point, serving as Rome’s port). Anyway, I could go on about Ostia Antica, but I won’t because this has been v self-indulgent already. YES I DO LIVE WITH MY HEAD IN THE CLOUDS, thank you thank you.

-Flamma the Syrian was a real Gladiator and was SUPER popular. Apparently, he **loved** attention and was a hell of a fighter. He probably started as a slave who was forced into gladiator school, and then he just dominated at it and kept going. Just wild.

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